Then walk through some of your past conflicts and offenses with each other and ask for forgiveness. What could we do to practice not letting the sun go down on our anger?Ĭhoose a time when you can be in a quiet place for a while to talk.Do you think we have issues about choosing battles? Keeping anger under control? Practicing forgiveness?.What do you think about how we deal with conflict?.If God bestows grace on you, wouldn’t it seem a bit arrogant not to bestow grace on your spouse? Though conflict is inevitable, how you deal with the conflict will be the determining factor in the strength of your relationship. God practices a severe mercy and an extravagant grace. Words like, “I’m sorry, will you forgive me?” and “I love you and forgive you” will draw you closer to each other. Practice Forgiveness. Conflict is inevitable, but you can choose forgiveness. This takes some strong self-control, but the self-discipline will draw you closer. If you hold grudges or keep the flames of anger burning for too long, you are going against these scriptural mandates: “Don’t sin by letting your anger control you.” “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for the anger gives a foothold to the devil.” “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.” In other words, we can be angry but not sin. Anger that is held on the inside is often more detrimental than expressed anger. Put limits on your anger so it doesn’t turn to bitterness and resentment. We find that people who harbor a lot of anger usually have other issues going on in their life. Anger isn’t the issue it’s keeping it in control and handling it with maturity and grace. Keep anger under control. When a sinner marries another sinner and later “sinnerlings” are added to the mix, there are bound to be times when you will get angry with your spouse. It takes more deposits than withdrawals to get a good report. Your relationship is a lot like your bank account. Sometimes a compromise is the wisest decision. Does it really matter if the house is kept in perfect order? It’s impossible to have a fun-loving relationship if you are managing too many battlefronts at one time. But not everything is worth fighting over. If you do enter into conflict, speak the truth in love. Just as sports have rules, couples should have rules in order to have healthy conflict.Ĭhoose your battles wisely. Don’t turn every discussion into a fight. When we were younger a couple told us Christians should never argue. And that is just as true for Christian couples. No one, and we mean no one, can agree on every issue. The issue with most couples is not how much conflict there is, but how they deal with it. It can even be good for your relationship. This may sound crazy, but conflict can bring you closer. But conflict doesn’t need to pull you apart. No matter how you respond, though, conflict in a relationship is inevitable. Two Secrets to Keeping Your Marriage Brimming…Īctually, that’s not bad advice. We saw this sign in a flower shop in Florida: Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you. Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk.
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